


Never Again

by do_not_revive



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Depressed Stiles, Depression, Gen, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Stiles-centric, Substance Abuse, Suicide, This may or may not just be me having A LOT of feelings and forcing them into this universe..
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-20 11:01:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11919531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/do_not_revive/pseuds/do_not_revive
Summary: Until it's far too late, no one understands.





	Never Again

**Author's Note:**

> CRISIS TEXT LINE:
> 
> https://www.crisistextline.org/textline?gclid=CjwKCAjwuITNBRBFEiwA9N9YEE-WAhUh7cjcsCeXGZNyShs2tF_M63RllKIka2rGwiZL9xShBR0eohoC96wQAvD_BwE  
> \------  
> REACH OUT:
> 
> http://ie.reachout.com/  
> \------  
> 7CUPS ONLINE THERAPY:
> 
> https://www.7cups.com/  
> \------  
> BETTERHELP ONLINE COUNSELING:
> 
> https://www.betterhelp.com/helpme/?utm_source=AdWords&utm_medium=Search_PPC_c&utm_term=mental+health+hotline_e&utm_content=33342379666&network=g&placement=&target=&matchtype=e&utm_campaign=371722090&ad_type=text&adposition=1t1&gclid=CjwKCAjwuITNBRBFEiwA9N9YEBuGeTqy8nskOXk5M70p8YhksSFflwnGLQHA2sD5e7cVTvzRvEoLexoChLwQAvD_BwE&gor=helpme  
> \------  
> THE TREVOR PROJECT:
> 
> http://www.thetrevorproject.org/  
> \------
> 
> This may be a little overkill..?  
> I don't fuckin care, those links are gonna stay

Therapy can only teach you so much.

Pills can only do so much.

Until it's far too late, no one understands.

Life is a train wreck, and there are far too many casualties.

I was eighteen, almost graduated from highschool, and according to my family and friends, had a lot to look forward to.

"Oh, Mieczyslaw, I can't wait until you're finally a real adult!"

My dad was really the only family member that called me Stiles...

I won't have to be locked in a building for eight hours with screaming teens and verbal abuse and a gym coach who thinks he runs the entire damn school.

I won't have to walk alone on the sidewalk, because getting hit by a car is horrendous and I'm not sorry for being afraid of idiotic drivers running me over.

I won't have to be yelled at for forgetting to do my chores. Because, apparently, doing dishes and vacuuming is far too much for me to remember.

I won't have to worry about my family being disappointed in me if I fail school or drop out or don't get a good job like they expect me to.

I won't ever have to worry about taxes or bills, which is pretty terrifying to me.

I don't have to worry about my weight or appearance.

But, I never realized everything else mattered more.

How I won't be able to hear birds chirping in the morning before I leave for school.

Or discovering new music on my walks.

For feeling accomplished when I finish a task by myself.

For doing what I want to do, and do it for me, and try my hardest to realize that my family doesn't get to live my life for me like I'm just a character they can control.

I don't get to learn how to cope with being an adult, because it always starts out hard, but there are people who are one-hundred years old who once worried about being an adult.

I won't get to prove people's body standards wrong and be confident in my own body, because everybody comes in different sizes and colours, all very beautiful.

I only started to count the good things in life when my body went numb.

When the entire bottle of sleeping pills I took started to really kick in.

I couldn't move, or speak, or even make a noise at all.

How I could have gotten married.

How I could have helped my dad when he retires, instead of giving him a son to bury.

How I never have the chance to change the world.

Life is a trainwreck, and damn, I really wish I would have stayed.

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't even that good but LISTEN you little shits, you're amazing. No one is allowed to tell you otherwise, not even yourself.  
> Don't let your grave be filled with regret.  
> You are ALL beautiful and I wish you all the best in life.
> 
> ~<3


End file.
